Nicola and Billy and Me

In which I confess to being a super fan

First things first…

If you’re new to Poetical, Welcome! I’m so happy you’re here! In case you missed it over the weekend, I had a poem published for the first time. 🎉 You can read about it and link to it from here. Or visit here to catch up on my past posts.

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My husband and I are huge Nicola Walker fans. So when she turned up as the focus of a column in the New York Times one Sunday morning in late October, he started reading it immediately. After just a few lines, he uttered an interested, “Huh.” After a few more lines I heard a “Ha!” followed quickly by a “What?!?” When I questioned him he just shook his head and said, “You’ll have to read it for yourself.” He passed me the paper.

I learned that Nicola Walker and I share a fondness for sculpture. She mentioned Henry Moore, one of my favorites. She talked about the difference in reading Sylvia Plath as a teenager and now, and how her 53 year-old self (same age as me) wants to jump into the book and save her. I have expressed this same wish. She loves murder mysteries for the same reasons I do: they let you be scared, but with the promise of a resolution, a return to safety. And - this is the biggie - she loves reading poetry aloud, and one of her favorite poems is Billy Collins’s “Introduction to Poetry.”

I put the paper down, my mouth hanging open, and my husband said, “Right? It’s a little weird, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I think she’s my new best friend!”

“Clearly,” he replied. “Should we tell her?”

But we decided to wait until we could mention it to her casually in conversation.

I do love that poem. I had just sent it to my daughter a few weeks before as she started her first college level creative writing class as a reminder to treat poetry gently. But really, I love pretty much anything by Billy Collins. He’s “that” poet for me. The one I always return to when I need to be reminded why I love poetry. The one who helps me sharpen my pencil and cross out the over-blown, the sentimental, the unnecessary. He makes me laugh, and cry, and sigh, and lament “Why didn’t I think to say it like that?!”

Reading a Billy Collins poem is an intimate thing. It’s like listening to your smartest, wittiest friend tell a story. It’s like having a personal tour guide to the human condition, one with a sense of humor and a gimlet eye. I just went to look up a few of my favorite poems and instead got lost for an hour in Whale Day and Other Poems; a Billy Collins collection is not an easy place to leave. Maybe go listen to Downpour. I think you’ll see what I mean. Or you could try Aimless Love. He makes it look so easy, but that’s only because he’s so damn good.

It was with a sparkling sense of kismet that I mulled over the fact that another of my celebrity crushes, Nicola Walker, also loves my favorite poet. Lest you worry about me, I know that Nicola and I will never be best friends. We do seem to have a lot in common, though. And it’s a comfort to know we’ll always have Billy.

Here’s a poem that started as a sort of poetic doodle, but something about it reminded me of him, so it became a bit of a tribute. There will only ever be one Billy Collins, and heaven knows I am not he. But his words will always delight and surprise me and make me want to do better.

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Dinner For One

Here I sit in our kitchen,
a glass of wine, pizza,
and a crossword that 
capitulated too easily
Your wine glass sits empty
on the drying board, casting 
envious glances at mine

I am eating alone while you, 
a few towns away, 
laugh and dine with old friends,
your empty beer cans 
consorting fondly together in a bin

I would like to be there, 
remembering old jokes, 
correcting your stories when 
you get the details wrong

But I am here instead because 
even after all this time, and 
in sometimes surprising ways, 
the children, who are not children 
anymore, still need me 

And I like that, I do, 
that I am not yet entirely 
superfluous in their lives
Even if my usefulness is, 
in this instance at least,
more about my ability
to drive a car than 
fill an emotional void

Nevertheless, it is good to feel needed 
And still, but please don’t tell them, 
I’d rather be with you

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Who are your poetic heroes? Whose work do you return to over and over?

Here’s a clip of Billy Collins reading Introduction to Poetry.

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What I’ve Been Reading:

• I often steer clear of the most popular, highly rated, much touted books. I’m wary after being too often disappointed. But so many very smart patrons came into the library raving about Remarkably Bright Creatures that I had to give it a try. I’m enjoying it very much so far.

• I used to work in an elementary school library, at the same time I had elementary school kids. This was when I developed a huge fondness for middle grade graphic novels. They remain a great pleasure of mine still. I picked up All My Friends at the library and spent a happy afternoon last weekend reading this final book in the trilogy, taking my time to enjoy the artwork as much as the words. If you have a young person in your life who likes music, this series might be a good fit.

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  Here on Substack:

• Jenna Repeats History
  shared a fabulous story about a visit to Norway. Don’t miss it. There’s a great book recommendation in there, as well.

• Adam Lombard
  is sharing wonderful poetry at
  The Scribble & Jot
  . I was in a Billy Collins frame of mind this week so this one really resonated for me, reminding of the way Collins uses objects as vessels for big concepts. But don’t stop with this one. I’ve loved everything I read so far.

Thanks for reading!