this is such a great story and it works so well. The repetition gives it so much energy. I love narrative poetry but it has to be honed, as you say, like a sculpture so some light can get in. You've done that here.
Whew! What a story. I agree with Melanie, the repetition works so well. It reminds me of crisis moments when you find yourself chanting what to do next, what might happen next, what you already did, and back around again.
Thanks, as ever, for being such a careful, thoughtful reader. It really is a good story. I always wish I could have heard it from him, but my mom did a great job with it, too.
This is such an interesting story! And your two opening lines and their repetition is great.
this is such a great story and it works so well. The repetition gives it so much energy. I love narrative poetry but it has to be honed, as you say, like a sculpture so some light can get in. You've done that here.
Thanks, LeeAnn. I feel like sometimes narrative poetry is seen as somehow "less poetic." But I just love stories.
Whew! What a story. I agree with Melanie, the repetition works so well. It reminds me of crisis moments when you find yourself chanting what to do next, what might happen next, what you already did, and back around again.
Thanks, as ever, for being such a careful, thoughtful reader. It really is a good story. I always wish I could have heard it from him, but my mom did a great job with it, too.
That opening line! The sense of motion and purpose and the surprise of running away. There’s so much drama.
I think the repetition works really well. What a great story.
this was beautiful, thank you for sharing
Thank you, A.J. Thanks so much for reading. 🙏🏻
I simply loved this. Made me quite teary at the thought of such heroism and quick thinking.
Wonderful, Tara. Yes, narrative poetry takes a lot of carving -- I really like the shape you're giving to this one.