24 Comments

Such a beautiful poem, Tara! Those last two lines are such an unexpected, perfect turn. Your poems often make me want to sit down and write more poetry.

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Adam, this may be the best compliment I've ever gotten about my poetry. Thank you so much.

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It's true! 😊

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"Your poems often make me want to sit down and write more poetry." I think that is the highest compliment we can pay to a poet.

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My thoughts exactly.

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Wonderful poem, Tara. Now that I'm beyond menopause and mid-life, I can assure you, being alive as an octogenarian is the absolute best even in the face of loss (people, good health).

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Thank you, Frances, for reading and for taking the time to share a comment. I'm delighted to hear that you're finding joy where you are in life. There are some amazing women in their 80s and 90s who I count as friends and who are such an inspiration to me.

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Love this poem, Tara! It speaks to seniors too/our winter season. Especially the “file to soften invisibility!” As Mary says, tools that get us through life…finding our way however we can. This deluxe knife with the corkscrew is the best… wine with my love… or myself! Bravo! Thanks for sharing, for being so gifted through words and feelings. 🤗

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Joan! What a lovely comment. Thank you so much for reading and reaching out.

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Love the Swiss Army knife as metaphor. None of these things - toothpick, tweezers, corkscrew - are luxuries. They are what you use to make it through life. Tools, not weapons, because it was never a war to begin with. Just a time to cut loose. Thank you for this, Tara.

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Thank you, Mary. I love that this poem rings true for you. 💕🤗

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Love, love this - the pocket solution for coping with this life stage and all it’s throwing at you. Also like the repurposing of a traditionally quite masculine imagery, inviting us to take more space in that space.

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Thanks so much for reading, Anna, and for your piece which inspired me to tighten up the screw on this poem and post it.

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Touching to watch the women of Gen X (my favorite generation) embark on this stage of life. Brings back memories of sitting in long editorial meetings, in mixed-gender company, as my women colleagues "of a certain age"--one by one, at random moments chosen by hormones-- turned bright red and discreetly activated a battery-operated pocket fan. The rest of us in "the club" exchanged knowing looks and sympathetic smiles. I can tell you that it gets better, that you have many new discoveries ahead of you, and that the "edge of invisibility" can be quite freeing. You are rising into your true power. Those hot flashes are the rocket exhaust.

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I love this, Tara. I went through menopause early, which has its downsides—ah, the things my mother never told me—and it does seem to be this secret we really should be talking about. I don’t miss having periods though, perimenopause was crazy. Thank you for this poem.

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You know, it really irks me that so many of things women go through are somehow considered taboo. When my daughter started her period I bought her a matching necklace and earrings to celebrate. I told her if our culture weren't so bankrupt, all her female relatives would be coming over to dance around a bonfire. I also made sure she felt comfortable asking her dad or brother to pick up tampons and pads for her at the drug store. There should be no shame attached to any of these phases we go through. I get so pissed about this stuff!! Thanks so much for reading.

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We definitely need to change the paradigm. It’s time.

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I love how *complete* this poem is. It has all the elements listed, but it ends with joy (which is how I hope menopause ends for all of us).

Thank you so much for the mention--I screenshot what you said because you give the most wonderful compliments and I am bowled over 💛.

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I needed to post this one this week. Have really been struggling with the weight gain of menopause, this new body that doesn't follow any of it's old rules any more, and feeling so discouraged that no amount of exercise (and I'm doing A LOT!) or healthy eating seems to make a difference. You point out that this poem ends with joy, and I'm right there with you in hoping that were we all end up, too. And every compliment I send your way is 100% deserved. You are so amazing to write and post as much as you do, and for it all to be so GOOD! Plus, I rather enjoy the idea that my super power is giving compliments. I might have to lean into that... 🤗💕

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Argh. The weight gain has been so rough for me too. I can’t remember if I’ve told you this before, but when I went to a naturopath to do more detailed testing for perimenopause, she did say that no matter how much I exercise, my weight might not change. That was hard to hear, but also a tiny bit freeing. I know there are a lot of opinions out there, though. I’m trying to take my perimenopause information in small-ish bites or I get super overwhelmed.

Your superpower isn’t just compliment giving, just to be clear 💛. Last night I was telling a friend of mine about “Burn the Letters” because I think she would derive real comfort (and deep beauty, of course) from your poems.

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I’ve heard that about weight gain, too. And when somebody tries to tell me that it’s a simple equation of calories eaten v. calories burned, I want to slap them with paddle with the words IT’S MENOPAUSE, BITCH! carved on it. I love a) that you remember that poem and b) that you told a friend about it.

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Sigh. I hear you (on the paddle).

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Using that Swiss Army knife as an object to convey your point was brilliant! Well done, Tara!

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Kim, thank you so much. What a generous compliment! So glad you're here.

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